1. Set a good example. Even if they don’t show it, your teen is looking to you for guidance.
2. Be factual when discussing drinking. Scare tactics and threatening do not work. Some important facts to share include the following: Alcohol is a drug but a LEGAL drug. Alcohol affects adults differently than it does teens. Kids bodies aren’t mature enough physically to metabolize alcohol & kids aren’t emotionally ready to use the kind of judgement needed to make decisions about alcohol. Lastly, underage drinking is illegal.
3. Set firm, fair, and consistent rules & guidelines. Let your teen know what you expect from them. Talk about your family values.
4. Practice good parenting through family togetherness. This promotes an atmosphere of trust & respect. It also lets your teen know that he/she is a valued member of the family.
5. Get to know your teen’s friends & their families.
6. Be aware of the power of peer pressure and teach your teen the meaning of friendship. See below for more on this. Real friends don’t embarrass, threaten, or force you into doing something that you don’t want to do.
7. If you suspect that your teen has a problem with drinking or drugs, get professional help immediately.

If you suspect that your teen has been drinking:

1. Remain calm
2. Determine what your teen has consumed & how much.
3. Observe your teen for any adverse effects.
4. Postpone discussion until you have cooled down and your teen is able to understand the point of the discussion.
5. Use a “tough love” approach. If a rule has been broken, their must be a consequence.

Peer Pressure

Teens look to their parents as role models, so your actions must back your words. Your teen will be watching you to see whether or not you live up to the standards that define your family values. “Do as I say, not as I do” will only undermine your efforts at effective parenting. Therefore, you must be very clear about what your expectations for your teen are & what the consequences are for breaking the rules.

The power of peer pressure is great. The greatest desire of a teenager is to fit in with the peer group. Acceptance is often hinged upon whether or not a person dresses like the group, listens to the same music as the group, and engages in the same sort of behaviors as the group. Your teen needs to know that they can make the choice NOT to drink.

Your role now is crucial. Talk to your teen about drinking. Encourage them to ask you questions about drinking or any other issue that is important to them. Have your teen come up with a “survival strategy” for how they can handle peer pressure. Let them be the “expert” on teen culture. Stay interested and stay involved.

*adapted from Family Talk about Drinking, Anheuser-Busch Companies, Inc. 1993.